In a previous edition of Executive Reflections I talked about transitions and seeing more deeply. This month, let’s talk about a very specific transition. Moving.

Moving is a project

In the best of circumstances moving is a project.

Combining households?
That takes it to a whole new level of complexity…especially when one is moving into the house that has been designed, built, and occupied by the other partner for 22 years. And to be clear, I am the one moving in…after more than a year of conversation about whether we actually wanted to do this.

We did our due diligence, like many do when they undertake a big endeavor. Some of this we talked about ahead of time and some we clarified as needed, in real time.
Specifically, here’s what we did:

• We were clear and aligned about what we wanted to accomplish with the move—our motivation, why it mattered, our hopes and aspirations and fears
• We explored risks, dependencies, and contingencies—how will our kids (and grandkids) feel about it, what to do if/when something happens to one or both of us
• We had a plan—when to move, who would help us, what would come to this house and what wouldn’t, what would stay in this house and what wouldn’t, in general where we thought things would go, where to ‘stage’ the boxes and agreement to only move them into the rest of the house when we were ready to deal with the contents
• We got clear about roles and iterated throughout—hiring a moving company for the big stuff and the still-way-too-many boxes of books; embracing my new assistant in her offer to sell or donate the things that weren’t either traveling with me or staying in this house; deciding who drives and unloads which vehicle when; who is responsible for providing food (and drink) and when (we usually forgot about this one until we were exhausted and realized we hadn’t eaten for 8 hours)
• We communicated constantly throughout the process…changed plans as we needed to and celebrated the milestones along the way.

It all sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Organized, thoughtful, collaborative.
So where did we run into trouble? How did moving become an adaptive challenge?

"Shouldn't moving be a technical problem?"

Those were the words spoken by a former coaching client with whom I was having lunch the other day. We were discussing my move in the context of adaptive challenges versus technical problems.

This is probably a good time for some definitions...

A technical issue is one for which there is a known solution. You may not know it, but someone does. And you can hire the expertise or watch a video on YouTube or poll your friends and colleagues for the best solution. You create a plan and you implement it, iterating as appropriate. I don't intend to over simplify it. Technical problems can be quite complex, but the bottom line is that "they have known solutions that can be implemented by current know-how" by using existing authority, structure, and processes.*

In theory, moving is a technical issue.

Resolving or reducing homelessness, world hunger,  and poverty. Or creating effective policies and practices around stem cell research or abortion or equity in our systems. These are adaptive issues. And so are things like creating strategies to address the foundational changes occurring in your industry, increasing engagement in your organization, or dealing with aging parents.

Moving should not be an adaptive challenge.
But this one is.

*The definitions and application of the terms adaptive and technical come from The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, by Ron Heifitz, Alexander Grashow, and Marty Linsky

A question of values

As is typical with many projects, this move was a whole lot harder (emotionally, primarily) and it is taking a whole lot longer than we imagined. But that's not what makes it adaptive.

Adaptive challenges are seriously disruptive. They can only be addressed by dismantling many of the existing structures and processes, priorities, loyalties, and belief systems which makes these journeys fraught with underlying conflict and resistance…and loss. There is always some loss in the process of creating a new capacity to thrive.

The most obvious loss for my partner and me was loss of our freedom…and the amount of stuff we both needed to purge. On a deeper level, both of us had been single for several years, him widowed and me divorced. And neither of us were too anxious to step back into the pain of the inevitable loss of a partner, however it might occur.

In addition to the loss, there is always a clash of values in an adaptive change.

Although my partner and I share many similar values, the primary clash we ran into is around the purging process. He was all about efficiency and I was all about doing it "right." Do you hear the conflict in there?

He was delighted to make as many trips to the thrift store, the recycling center, or the dump as I wanted. Get it gone so we don’t have to move it or find a way to store it.
Makes sense, doesn’t it?

My focus on doing it "right" involved two things—

• Not dumping things in the landfill just to get rid of them (when somebody could put them into good use)
• Establishing this new living situation as our home versus his home with a few of my things scattered around.

My version of doing it "right" is laborious—pulling 22 years of stuff out of every cabinet, shelf, nook and cranny; cleaning the space; putting all of our similar things together on a table or counter; and making conscious decisions about what we keep and what we don’t…and where it all should go.

This has been our biggest conflict. It is an underlying values conflict that leads to all kinds of surface level frustrations (like where is the cheese grater? And what happened to the measuring spoons? How come all I see is your stuff in the cabinet?).

In any adaptive change effort you will encounter innumerous frustrations…the timing or location of the meetings, what was or wasn’t captured in the notes, whose ideas are vetted and whose were not. But there are deeper, more important issues underlying all those frustrations. Values issues. Values that are deeply embedded in the people with whom you are engaging. The things they believe are absolutely RIGHT and TRUE.

Some tips on adaptive change

Adaptive challenges involve a myriad of technical issues, but the greatest problem from a leadership standpoint is when we confuse adaptive challenges with technical problems.

That’s how we started this moving process. It’s just a move, right? It should be easy.

The confusion came when we defined that issue as moving, which is technical, when the real issue is combining households and creating a life together. A much bigger deal. And adaptive.

So here are some things to consider as you are navigating the adaptive challenges in your work or personal life – –

• Define what is the real issue—is it moving or is it creating a home together?
• Settle in for the long-haul—recognize this is going to be a long process, involving more than just you and what you want. It will involve co-creating and maintaining an environment that enables compassion, healthy conversation, and productive conflict.
• Attend to the steps in the process—observe what is happening and interpret it (diagnose the system) and then intervene (mobilize the system)
• Expect push-back—remember that you are creating significant disruption in what was before and that involves some degree of loss for everyone touched by the effort
  
• Remember your shared purpose—and revisit it frequently...why you are doing what you’re doing, what greater good it is that makes the struggle worth it?
• Above all, remember the goal is to enable everyone involved to thrive--this isn’t just about accommodating and being able to "live with," it’s about creating a better, more inclusive, more equitable place to live and work.
  

This is by no means an exhaustive list of considerations.  I enthusiastically recommend the book, The Practice of Adaptive Leadership. And I hope that this is a helpful start to your next stage of leading and engaging in adaptive changes!