Liminal space.
Do you know what it is?
The term has come up numerous times, in a variety of situations, over the last several months. When it has, I've found myself acknowledging it in my head, as an intellectual concept, and then moving on.
But nearly everyone I know is in some kind of major transition...
The exploration and unknowing embedded in their decisions about what work they want to do going forward, and where and with whom.
Decisions related to family transitions--kids growing up, parents aging, spouses and partners struggling. Health situations, births and deaths, financial uncertainty, questions about identity, the impacts of wars around the world…the list goes on.
There are so many things happening in these last few months–in the world, in our calendars, in our personal and work lives -- that have caused me to pause, and think about the experience of liminal space.
The transition from one year to the next, for example, is liminal space. Visits with friends and family members, social activities, a different work pace, holidays, the hope and anticipation of new and different things…the magic and the difficulty. These months are different from the rest of the year. And they require an adjustment.
Here are some things I know about liminal space:
It is the place in-between – physically, it is something like a hallway or a doorway, a stairwell or a sidewalk. The physical place that exists between where you are and where you are going.
There is psychological or emotional liminal space – when I go to England, for example, to visit my kids and granddaughters, not only is the trip from here to there liminal space. But psychologically, being in England feels like a limbo-like place. The eight-hour time difference, as well as the different shape and structure of my days, is different than normal. And although we (mostly) speak the same language, it is a different culture.
Liminal space is disruptive – disruptive to the patterns that we have that keep us healthy and grounded. Like the trips to England. I absolutely love being with my family, to be part of their lives on a daily basis…and it’s still disruptive. It requires adjustment, adaptation, and a practice of holding things lightly.
Flying through the air ... with the greatest of ease?
For years I’ve used the analogy of a trapeze artist to describe that in-between space of unknowing.
Have you ever been to a traditional circus?
Under the big tent, watching the trapeze artists sailing and somersaulting back-and-forth, high over your head?
I remember holding my breath in anxious anticipation as the performers would totally let go of their trapeze and sail across the wide open, empty space before they caught a second trapeze or the hands of a partner, swinging out to meet them. It was nerve-racking. Watching them flip their bodies in loops and twists, hoping and praying that the timing would all be just right.
In spite of the safety net below, they were SO high up. And even if there was someone else on the other trapeze, they still had to navigate that empty space all by themselves. Just them and their bodies and minds and spirits carrying them through that formless space to the other side.
So considering the experience of liminal space…that ungrounded, free-floating, sometimes anxiety-producing place…some self-management tools and strategies come to mind. Strategies to stay grounded and healthy while navigating the flight.
Here are a few:
- Remember that you are not alone -- the trapeze artist never performs alone. At the very least, there is someone that must start that other, empty trapeze swinging so that it will arrive at the correct place, at the correct time for the flying artist to grab, following their mid-air ballet. You may not see them at the moment, you may have to pause and look for them, but there are always people, perhaps waiting in the wings, available and wanting to be with you, to help you… on both sides of the liminal space. Look for them, connect with them, let them know how they can best be helpful (as well as what isn’t helpful).
- Intentionally and consistently engage in practices that help you feel grounded and healthy in mind, body and spirit -- what and who you read and listen to; how you are sleeping and eating and moving; how you are connecting with that which is bigger than you, more stable and enduring; something you can depend on (God, nature, a higher power…)
- Clarify what you can control, and what you can’t -- focusing your self-loving attention and encouragement on those things you can control and/or influence. Not wasting time on those things you cannot
- Accept what is, in the current reality, counter-balanced with creatively and playfully imagining what could be – spending consistent time, even just 5 to 15 minutes every day, envisioning and imagining that desired future
- Clarify your values as a foundation for that envisioning -- revisit and refine, or redefine, what is truly most important to you in your life, and what life will be like when those things are fulfilled. (I'm happy to send you the 2 values activities we use with our executive coaching clients. Just let me know!)
Image Credit: Lexi Ruskell
COACHING QUESTIONS
- QUESTION ONE:
What liminal space(s) are you experiencing in your life now? - QUESTION TWO:
What strategies are you using to navigate through those spaces? - QUESTION THREE:
What 1 or 2 small changes could make traveling through those liminal spaces easier and more joyful?
Our wish for you is that your liminal spaces be filled with hope and joy and love as you perform your aerial dance from where you are to where you will be next!
We’d love to hear from you…
